Ok, ok, ok. Bit of a hook in the title.
Not entirely untrue, though.
Something I am consistently surprised by is just how many people do not understand or use condoms correctly. We hear, "USE PROTECTION!" And rightfully so! Condoms have helped our sex health in an incredibly positive way!
But how do you pick one? There are SO MANY choices. Choices are fraught with an idea of what kind of dick you have. "I'll take the Magnum" *wink wink*
Yeah, sorry, but that's a terrible condom for many. Unless it does fit you, you risk it falling off. Or fuck, it might be too small. What then? It's also a thick condom if you don't get the Thin version. However, thick can sometimes be helpful. More on that later.
Here, I'm going to list a few key things to consider when trying to choose a condom. I am not a doctor. These are my opinions based on some facts and my extensive research for the past 12 years in the lab. *wink wink* I may be missing some stuff. It's even possible I am not 100% correct on everything. I'm open to this being a living document, so feel free to send me *constructive* feedback!
I'll also offer some suggestions at the end.
1- IF IT DOESN'T FIT CORRECTLY, IT'S NOT GOING TO OFFER MAX PROTECTION!!!! If it's not snug enough, it will come off. If it's too tight, it can cut off circulation to your cock, and I hear that it doesn't always feel too good. If you want a squeeze at the base of your cock, use a cock ring :) To find your perfect condom, you will need to research and explore. I have a selection of my faves that I will list later. My One Custom Fit is an excellent service where you can find your PERFECT size. They have 52 different sized condoms!!!!!!!!!! Wow. It gives you some perspective, eh?
2- Make sure you are putting it on correctly. There's a way to unroll it and gently (or not so gently, whatever you're into) squeeze the air out of the reservoir tip. That is there to catch the cum. But if there's an air balloon, it may rupture more easily.
3- TIP for the tip: put a little bit of lube in the reservoir before you put the condom on.
4- If you have multiple partners, use condoms on your toys. Or even if you don't have multiple partners, it makes cleanup SOOOOOO much more effortless.
5- If you are having sex with multiple people at the same time, make sure to change the condom before swapping partners. Otherwise, only the cock is protected. Unless the pussies are fluid bonded. Have that conversation if needed. Everything is a choose-your-own-adventure in my world.
6- Latex sensitivities are higher in females. Make sure you find a non-latex option in your search.
7- INTERNAL (or FEMALE) CONDOMS: not the sexiest option as it's like a sock you have to insert into your vagina, and it takes a moment to make sure you don't get it twisted. But they can be a fantastic option for anyone who has a difficult time staying erect in that transition period between hard and putting on the condom. They can also be a good option for water play (have you ever been in the water and then tried to put on a condom???) And they can be inserted up to 8 hours before sex! So, if you want that extra level of spontaneity and the illusion of bareback, they can be fun! They do also offer a tiny bit more protection for the pussy as it covers part of the labia.
Fun fact: You can use them for anal sex. At least, that's what I hear. I have no personal experience using this form of protection for anal. Not sure about having it hang out in your butt for hours before. If anyone has personal experience with this, I would love to hear about it!
8- LAMBSKIN: Only suitable for pregnancy protection!!!! They do not offer protection against STIs. I repeat:
****LAMBSKIN CONDOMS DO NOT PROTECT YOU FROM STIS ****
They have tiny pore size holes because they are made of skin. I know, right? It never occurred to me, either.
9- LELO Hex Condoms: It seems like a sleek, modern condom: sexy packaging and futuristic looking. However, if they get a tiny little hole, the condom stays intact except for the tiny little hole. A traditional condom will burst if it gets a tiny hole. This is a good thing because then you know it has happened. With the Hex condoms, you don't see that you've just had a condom break. It is creating a false sense of safety.
10- I do not like condoms with spermicide. The chemical in it can be irritating and cause your pussy to become more vulnerable if you are using them a lot. At least have a non-spermicide option available and ask your partner before using any condom that has anything added to it.
11- RIBBED? WARMING? FLAVORED? I'm not too fond of these. So I can't offer much here. But there must be someone out there who enjoys that sort of thing. Explore, explore, explore!
12- COLORED? GLOW IN THE DARK? I dunno, sounds fun? Different colored condoms are handy for playing with toys with others because you can assign a color to a person, and you know which toy has been inside of which person :) Red-colored condoms can be nice if you're menstruating.
13- A thicker condom can sometimes be helpful if you cum more quickly than you would like and want to last longer.
14- Putting a condom on a soft cock? Here's a lovely article I found online, replete with demonstrative images. You're welcome.
https://joanprice.com/2016/04/how-to-put-condom-on-soft-penis-wi.html
15- Last, but not least, remember: lube is our friend! Water-based, silicone, and oil based can be used on non-latex condoms. But DO NOT USE OIL BASED ANYTHING WITH LATEX. Oil can damage latex and make it more susceptible to breaking. Lube also helps prevent breakage. It also feels good!
CONDOMS I LIKE & RESOURCES
My favorite is Okamoto 004. Non-latex. They seem the most adaptable for the broadest range of lengths and girths. Most of my partners have liked them. I like their thinness, and I've never had one of those slip off during sex.
Skyn Condoms are beloved by many and pretty adaptable. They are non-latex and come in different sizes. If you like Magnums, try Skyn Elite.
LifeStyles Snugger Fit is a good option for those on the smaller side. Latex.
https://worldcondoms.com is a good resource with everything categorized well to try different kinds.
https://onecondoms.com/pages/myone is where you can get fitted for your very own custom size! It is helpful for anyone on either side of the average size spectrum or struggling to find the right size in standard sizes. Or if you're just curious. Or you're feeling fancy. Happy to assist with measuring...
https://www.cdc.gov/hiv/basics/hiv-prevention/condoms.html is an article about condoms and how to use them
https://sexwithemily.com/the-basics-of-safe-sex/ Article on The Basics of Safe Sex
There is a plethora of options out there, and if you are having a difficult time with condoms, it's worth the investment of trying to figure out what works best for your continued safety and pleasure!
And don't forget, if you need someone to practice with, you know where to find me ;)
With love,
Julia Eve
Photo by Deon Black on Unsplash
