You know the old adage, "practice makes perfect."
In a sense, that's true. From a different viewpoint, perfection is an illusion.
The truth is, what we're really searching for is Mastery. Mastery of any skill requires time on the mat. It requires experience. It requires education. It requires a Mentor. And sex is no different than any other skill you would develop.
Some people are more intuitive when it comes to sex. I have always had very open, and accepting, beliefs around sex and intimacy. Even as a young girl, I longed to connect with others in a physical way. And didn't really see how that had to extend to commitment or a romantic relationship. Why not spend time touching, caressing, kissing, fucking a friend? A stranger? What a great way to get to know someone!
But no matter how in touch you are with your body or your sexuality, you can always learn something new.
SEX IS A PRACTICE.
You can learn anatomy (which most of us are not taught adequately.) You can learn techniques (which most of us have gathered from porn.)
***PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT***
Not sure if you know this yet, but porn is NOT the best way to learn about sex! I mean, I love good porn just as much as the next guy, it can be hot to watch with a partner, and provide great fodder for masturbating, and sure you can even get some fun ideas to explore! BUT. A very big BUT. It is NOT the best way to learn about sex. And, currently, it is the main way we learn about sex. [insert sad face emoji here]
You don't see all the prep work that goes into each scene. You don't see the amount of faking involved. You don't see all the lube that was injected before a woman is fucked to high heaven.
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SEX IS A PRACTICE.
When you are trying to get fitter, do you go to the gym once or twice and expect results? NO. When you start a yoga practice do you expect to nail all the poses immediately? NO. When you learn to play an instrument, doesn't it take many, many hours of attention, energy, and PRACTICE to even be kinda good at it? Let alone MASTERING that skill?
Find someone (or someones) that you can practice with! Be willing to make mistakes. Be willing to laugh about something not quite working as you thought it would in your mind. Be willing to fail. Find a Mentor. Someone who knows the art of pleasure and how to help you learn to become more intimate in your own relationships. Because, sure, getting your dick sucked is great. But understanding what you like, what you don't like, and how to replicate that in other experiences is the practice of sex.
And who doesn't want to Master the art of sex?
Yours Truly in Practice,
Julia Eve
Photo by Dainis Graveris on Unsplash
